Her name
was Heather. With a name like that you might assume that
she was some kind of goddess. She was: the goddess of
nasty.
It all
started in sixth grade when she first sat her disgusting
carcass down next to me in third period sci ence class. I
nearly passed out from asphyxiation when she opened her
big mouth to introduce herself. It was like someone had
opened the gate to the swamp of Hell. "Hi, my name
is Heather and I am a disgusting freak," she should
have said. And her face, my God, her face. It was as if
someone had left the decaying corpse of a pig out in the
intense sun for a week. I would have rather sat next to
the pig.
I totally
ignored her as the years went by; her growing larger and
larger around that equator she calls her waist. If they
made pants for hippopotami she could surely fit snugly
into them, as well as possibly being accepted as one of
their own.
Then one
day in mid-eighth grade she showed up on my doorstep.
Instantly the stench of sewage and dead rottin g fish
spewed most copiously from the window into my living
room. I thought a toilet had backed up or something; but
it was just slimy old Heather. But it was funny, she
never rang the doorbell or anything. Maybe she was
afraid, maybe she was just plain stupid. I would suspect
the latter. We never answered the door and she left about
ten minutes later.
She didn't
come to the door again; and if she had our carbon
monoxide detector would have probably picked up her
signals. However, one morning I awoke from a most joyous
night of slumber and she was there: staring in through my
bedroom window. The beautiful fiery sunset was destroyed
by a ratty-haired demon.
That
afternoon after school I looked her address up in the
directory and was shocked that it wasn't the garbage
dump. I hopped on my bike and rode down to her house
which was a fifteen minute ride that seemed like an
eternity. I arrived at her place and ran up to the door,
nearly out of breath. I rang the bell and waited - the
freak answered th e door. So I said to her, "if I
catch you at my house EVER again, I am going to call the
cops. You should be glad that I decided not to do that
now." 'Juvie' would have been no place for her; she
would probably have eaten all the 'inmates'. Then her mo
t her came to the door and asked me what was going on,
and I explained the entire story to her. And then the
freak said something that nearly made me want to vomit in
terror: she referred to me as her "boyfriend."
This was just too much, so I said crossly, "Listen
you, you, whatever you are: stay away from my house! I am
NOT your boyfriend. Get away from me!" And so I ran,
as if I had to clear the area of an armed grenade.
After
telling her off I never saw that foul creature again. I'm
sure that if I did see her now, though, I could probably
pick her out from a crowd. She would be the one leaving a
trail of slimy green ooze. She was a monster and will
always be a monster.